Who Am I Without Him? (Module 8)

Summary
In this collection of short stories, African- American girls relationships with the men in their life is explained in different stories. One girl is in love with a boy from the wrong side of the tracks, one has a horrible skin condition and is in love with a pop singer, another is in love with a cheater and knows it but refuses to leave. There are two stories from male point of views, one boy who is assigned a class marriage with someone he hates and another written from a father to his daughter. Each story examines a different relationship a female has with a male, and how it affects them.

Suggested Activities
This would be a great book to use in all girls book club! (I suggest that a lot- I need to read more boy centered books I guess!) But I also think the story about the boy who is assigned to a marriage with a classmate he hates but must suffer through- would be a great story to show boys and girls, and start to have a good conversation about high school romance and relationships. This book would be great to use in a high school class or to recommend to girls and boys in relationships.

Reviews
Who am I without him? Sharon Flake. Hyperion, 2004. $15.99. 0-7868-0693-1. Grades 7-11. Ten short stories with authentic teen voices explore a variety of relationships between girls and the boys they like, ranging from humorous to sad.
Odean, K. (2005). YA FICTION: TEENAGE GIRLS AND THE BOYS THEY LIKE. Teacher Librarian, 32(3), 18. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/224876854?accountid=7113

Who Am I Without Him? Short Stories about Girls and the Boys in Their Lives by Sharon G. Flake (New York: Hyperion, 2004). Nine stories and a letter from a father to his daughter, all aimed at teaching girls (particularly African American girls) to respect themselves and not let boys take advantage of them.

Gallo, D. (2006). Why not short? English Journal, 95(3), 109-113. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/237293940?accountid=7113

My Thoughts
I really did not like this book, at all. I found it to be stereotypical of African Americans and their lifestyle and also of girls in relationships. I felt like all girls portrayed just fit a mold of what African American females from the rough side of town are supposed to be. None of the characters were surprising or different- they all seemed very similar. However, this may mean more to me if I had grown up in a neighbor hood similar to what was described or I was an African American girl.
One thing that bothered me was how these high school girls were shown in relationships. The depiction of teenage girls in relationships throughout novels is one of those "don't even get me started" topics. I feel I could go on for hours about how young readers really learn a lot about relationships from the books they read at this age, and showing girls to be weak and obsessive in these books is really doing a disservice to our culture. (Again.. don't get me started!) This collection of stories started with a girl whose man was always skipping school, and cheating on her. At the end of the story, she sees him cheat on her and decides to never bring it up and instead make him a home cooked meal that night. She feels she will never get a guy that great and cute unless she puts up with his bad behavior. What a horrible tone to start this book off on, I thought.
As an adult reading a book, an adult who has learned from experience about boys bad behavior and putting up with it, it was obvious how bad of an idea this is for the girl to ignore his cheating. But what about for girls who don't know? Who haven't been in relationships? Who haven't put up with bad behavior in relationships? Girls who really do feel that they will never get a great guy so they better settle for what comes along. What about those girls? What are they learning from these stories?
I just wish the overall feeling I had gotten at the end of this book was, "Without him you are everything and you will never need him to complete you." Instead the feeling I got at the end of this book was, "Who are you without him? Nothing." What a horrible message.
Biliography
Flake, S. (2007). Who am i without him?. Hyperion Books: